Camping on the river

My cute husband Stefan is a camper... I am not.  So I braved the wilderness and we took our two month old baby camping! It's not that I don't like being outside. I LOVE the outdoors. I can even do the dirt and bugs. I really just didn't want to take little Oakley deep into the mountains (FORTY ONE MILES). But I actually enjoyed it! Oakley was a champ! It is nice to see the beautiful world without the distractions of everyday life.  We went with Stefan's twin sister Paige and her husband Morgan and their two bull mastiffs (along with our dog) which was fun because we don't get to spend a lot of time with them. Stefan's parents came up for a few hours on Sunday and Monday as well! After the what should be 5 hour trip there turned into an 8 hour drive... we made it and had a great time! Traveling with babies makes everything take longer...  We were gone for four days and it flew by! This is the family vacation that Stef's family did every year and now I can see it as a tradition in our small family as well. Also, I would tell you where we camped... But Stefan swore me to secrecy that I won't reveal his favorite camping location.

Stef is the breakfast chef around our house! He makes a big breakfast every Sunday for us so he made our breakfasts there!

Early morning walk

The mornings there were really cold, so we had her really bundled.  She reminded me of the kid on Christmas story haha she could barely move!

The first day I really tried to keep Oakley's face out of the sun... But I was unsuccessful and her face was fried.  The rest of the trip she sported this hilarious hat. But it did the job!

My dog Roxi was in heaven. 

One day Morgan and Stefan were fishing and while they were getting the hook out of the fish Roxi jumped up and hit the fish off and bit down on the hook and it went through her tongue. She ran down the river dragging the fishing pole!! It was horrible!! 

The Twinners

Us and our dogs. 

Cute Paige and Morgan

The view from our camp

Where Oakley spent a lot of her time

There was horses all over on our drive up and back! I loved it!

All the girls 

My fisherman! 

Since I was a virgin camper with a baby. I wanted to share a few things I was happy I had with me or happy that I did!

1. Baby swing-  Even though it takes up a lot of room to get it there I was so happy I had it! It gave Oakley a place to lay protected from the dogs, kept my arms free when I needed it and off the ground and not just keeping her in the trailer. . And when she got a little grumpy I would just set her in it! 

2. Pack n Play-  Oakley actually didn't sleep in it, but I set it up outside and sometimes she doesn't want to be held and she just wants to lay flat and kick! So it was perfect.

3.That hilarious baby hat pictured above- If I would have had it on her the first day she wouldn't have gotten super burnt. 

4. Essential oils- as always, I had my oils with me.  Since Oakley is still so young I didn't want to put bug spray on her little skin.  So I made a concoction of 5 drops Lavender, 5 drops lemongrass, 2 drops peppermint and 2 drops thyme, (all doterra) then put it in a small glass water bottle I have and filled the rest with water.  It worked like a charm!! I had quite a few bites when we left and she had none! And not to mention she smelled great! Also when she got her face sunburned so bad I put lavender and coconut oil on her tomato red face and the next morning it was back to normal!!

5. Split up your meals- this is something my family always does on family trips. We assign the breakfasts and dinners to different families for each meal who cooks the meal for everyone there and so then you don't have to cook every meal. This way I feel like you can enjoy your trip more so you aren't feeling like you're constantly cooking. We did lunches separately! I thought it worked out perfect. 

6. LOTS of clothes for baby and yourself- you don't have a washing machine there obviously. So plan enough meals for LOTS of outfit changes. Because they always have blow outs and puke all over you when you're at the least convenient place. 

7. Outside/campfire blanket- I brought one blanket that I used around the campfire. This way I could just unwrap her and take her inside and she didn't get so stinky and gross from the campfire. I loved that I did this because then she didn't have all of her clothes and blankets smelling like campfire and I was able to keep her cleaner. 

8. Large hand sanitizer- For obvious reasons, but I was happy I took my big massive one because we went through A LOT in our short trip!

9. Extra binkies! this is one thing I learned the hard way.  Oakley loves her binky and on the car ride down I slammed it in the car door... so it was bent in half. Luckily I could bend it back as much as I could and it was still usable, but I was regretting not bringing another. 

10. Cornstarch, cayenne pepper and old socks Luckily I didn't have to use these there, but I have many times other places. But I brought them and I had a piece of mind. If you have a dog like mine, I swear she cuts her feet, rips off a toenail, gets a stick stabbed into her foot or something that has her foot bleeding often! I figured it would happen there, so I brought my supplies and I am sure it works just the same on humans:).  Just put cornstarch on the bleeding area and cover with an old sock. Then I tape the sock on her foot but not too tight. Then put cayenne pepper on the outside so they don't bite it off. Sadly, this didn't work for my accident prone dog and her new tongue piercing. But I figure it comes in handy if you're camping with a dog because they're constantly running through the sticks! 

11.  A good husband- Seriously I couldn't have done it without him! He did all the trailer work, which I have no idea what to do. And helped so much with everything! 

It doesn't define me.

I have started and stopped this post a handful of times.  People are constantly asking about my story, my health and how I have got to the place I am in my life.  So here it is... Halfway through my senior year I went to donate blood and found out that I had lost about 10 pounds.  At the time I wasn't feeling sick or anything, I just ignored it and continued on.  A few weeks later I started feeling really sick.  I went into my pediatrician (because I was still 17) and he told me I probably had ulcers.  So after getting on some medication I wasn't getting better. Since I was 17 I couldn't see a pediatric GI doctor, but a regular GI doctor wouldn't take me either.  Luckily we have friends in good places who pulled some strings and finally got me into a doctor.  After a bunch of testing and a colonoscopy and endoscopy I was told I had C-Diff, a bacteria in my stomach. I continued to loose weight and was very sick and I couldn't get rid of it.  The majority of people who get this take a medication and it goes away, or they die.  Fast forward 10 months and I finally was told it was gone.  Doctor after doctor have told me they don't know how I survived having it that long.  A few months later I still wasn't getting better, my GI doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong. I spent the last half of my senior year hardly ever making it to school, basically spending all of my days on the couch at my house because I was too sick to leave.  It wasn't the ideal way that someone would want to spend high school. As a senior in high school I already was thin to start, but after loosing over 20 pounds I was classified as anorexic, even though I was eating as much as I could but my body can't absorb anything.  As a girl in high school it rumored that I was anorexic and people just didn't understand that I was sick.  Months went by and still no answers. After being told I could have cancer, I did the whole Huntsman Cancer thing, luckily I didn't. We tried holistic doctors, infectious disease doctors, more testing, many days in the hospital, more colonoscopies, MRI's, scans and more doctors and finally a GI doctor at the University of Utah, a year of being sick with no answers, found out I have Crohns, a gastrointestinal autoimmune disease.  I remember when I got the call when I was sitting at a restaurant in St. George when I was told I have Crohn's.  I remember I kept wishing that wasn't what I had.  I wanted something that they could give me medication and it would go away. This was something that I was going to have my entire life.  It was hard for an 18 year old to hear.  I soon started IV infusions and steroids every 8 weeks, one of the strongest drugs you can get for Crohn's. They can try to treat the symptoms but it would never be completely gone.  Luckily I had amazing family support through all of this and I couldn't have gone through this without my parents and a few close friends. I know it could have been a lot worse of diagnosis, but for me, it was hard.  I felt like I was broken, like I was never going to get better.

I felt like my life was revolving around being sick. I wasn't able to do all the things I wanted to. Throughout this whole process I have tried to remain positive, even though it isn't easy.  I constantly was getting priesthood blessings and I would get frustrated because they never would bless me to get better, it was always that I would have strength and positivity throughout my trials. It became frustrating to me.  But I tried to not let the people around me see that, because I knew it was hard on them, especially my parents.  One night I was praying for some answers. I got the most straight forward answer I have ever gotten, "being sick doesn't define you."  Up to this time I felt like everyone was looking at me like I was the sick one, I was doing it to myself.  I had constantly been telling myself that I was sick and always was going to be and that was how people were going to view me.  I learned that I have Crohn's, and yes I will be sick, but it doesn't define me as a person.  I have learned through my trials that I am not here to be healthy. I am not here to just have fun. I am not here to travel the world. I am here to learn to know Christ, we all are here to come unto Christ. Through my trials I have been able to learn that I am gaining a relationship with my Savior and that is what is important, since I am stubborn sometimes maybe I wouldn't have turned to Christ if I haven't had gone through this in my life. So for that, I am grateful.

A few pictures from my glory days... haha!

 

This goes to all of the trials in our lives. Whether it is health problems, addictions, family issues, divorce, depression, whatever the trial may be, they do NOT define you as a person.  We are all going to have trials, and they are different for everyone and sometimes it feels frustrating when no one seems to understand. But through our trials we can choose to take it as an opportunity to get a closer relationship with our Savior, and realize we are not alone in this.  That someone else has felt every pain that we feel. That no matter what we are never alone. We are given strength to carry on. Just because I have health problems, doesn't mean I can't be a good mom.  Since I got pregnant I had a hard time with it because I didn't know how I am supposed to take care of a baby if I struggle with my health.  But I have had to tell myself that just because I won't always be able to take my kids to go and do everything all the time, I will be trying to teach them the things that really matter. I can teach them the gospel, I can teach them to be happy, respectful, and loving.
 
So yes, I am far from perfect but I am not broken. And its now been three and a half years into this and yes, I am still sick but I am trying to do what I can to get feeling better. And I am so grateful for an amazing family, including my amazing husband who goes above and beyond to help me when I am sick. But just because I am sick, does not mean that that is all I am.  I am a wife, mother, daughter, friend, leader, a daughter of God.  So I sit here, in my chair at the hospital receiving my IV, content with my situation.  Because it doesn't define me.

To learn more about my religion go here
To learn more about Crohn's go here

Birth Story 5.12.15

I am finally taking the time to sit down and write about Oakley's birth! This is my journal of what happened so you get all the long details you might not want:) My due date was originally May 21st. After weeks of basically being on bedrest, hours hooked up to fetal monitors, weekly shots and horrible medication because of preterm labor, I still hadn't had her on Monday May 11th. That day I went into the doctor, I was dilated to 2 and 85% effaced and she told me that they were going to start me that day.  At first she was going to have me go straight to the hospital, but then decided to have me go in at 8 that night. So I left the doctor in a rush! Trying to get everything together and do all my last minute things I needed to do. They told me to call into the hospital at 7 and make sure they had an open delivery room because they were remodeling the hospital and they only had 3 of the rooms available.  We dropped Roxi (my dog) off at my parents house and had the bags all packed in the car ready to go.  I got a blessing from Stefan and my dad when we dropped Roxi off. I am so grateful for the priesthood in our lives and that I have a worthy husband and father, I am very blessed! 7:00 rolled around and I called and they said they didn't have room for us yet and they would call me when we could come. Stefan and I went to the Habit grill for dinner and tried to keep our minds off of it! We were both nervous and excited and didn't know what to expect. We went back home and laid down for awhile. Finally they called and told us we could come about 11 pm. Not the ideal time to go into the hospital! When we got there, we had to check in at the emergency room, they claimed they were really busy but the waiting room was empty besides us and some crazy drugged up lady. After waiting forever we finally got into our room about 12:30 am. I got changed into my hospital gown and we got situated in our room. I had the cutest nurse who I loved!! And she had a nursing student who was shadowing her that was with us too.  When it came to do my IV they asked if it would be okay for the nursing student to put it in.  I get IV's every 8 weeks so I am used to getting IV's and needles don't bother me at all.  I said that was great and she got started... Lots of gushing blood and about 20 minutes later my IV was in.  They had me start to fill out all my paperwork, when I feel something on my arm... I look down and blood was running down my arm from my IV. So we had to get that all fixed and cleaned up finally! Luckily I am not really bothered by that. By now it was about 1:30 and they gave me some pills (don't know what its called but it isn't pitocin) to soften my cervix so that things could get moving.  My doctor wanted me to dilate more before they broke my water and got things really going. So then we went to bed! Again at 3:30ish they gave me some more pills and I started having more contractions.  I had been having contractions for weeks so it wasn't really bad. By about 6 in the morning I was getting really nauseous, I couldn't eat while I was there and I think that was why I was feeling nauseous.  So they came in and gave me some zofran and I felt a lot better.  My doctor got there by about 8:45 and told me if I hadn't dilated anymore they were going to send me home and have me come back when my contractions got closer together. Luckily she checked me and I was at a 3 and 90%. She pulled out her weird looking chopstick and broke my water.  Which was WAY weird feeling.  I didn't know it would be that much fluid and I didn't think they would just do it on the bed! I felt like I lost 10 pounds after that.  Then they cleaned it all up and Stefan kept making me laugh and I kept thinking I was peeing my pants and they kept assuring me that I wasn't! Weirdest feeling ever. Haha then the waiting continued! Stef and I just sat around and talked, my contractions got stronger and closer together.  I ate lots of ice chips, Italian ice and jello since that was all I could eat... Seriously that was the worst part- not eating! By about 11 my nurse kept coming in and asking if I wanted an epidural because my contractions were really strong on the fetal monitor.  But I really was doing pretty good and it wasn't too bad.  My nurse came in a little later and said that my contractions were getting too close and her heart rate was dropping so either they needed to give me medication to slow my labor or hopefully if I get my epidural my labor would slow. So I voted for the epidural then because I definitely did not want them giving me anything to slow it down!! While we were waiting to get my epidural my contractions were getting pretty strong.  Stef was so cute about everything and was trying to help me feel better.  He was rubbing my back and I finally told him he had to stop touching me because it was making it worse haha poor stefan.  They came in and checked me and I was at a 5. The anesthesiologist was about 12 years old but really nice.  I sat up on the edge of the bed and held Stefan's hand and he gave me the numbing shot which burned in my back for about 10 seconds and then I couldn't feel anything! He put in the epidural and it was over.  Not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I feel like people had talked about how awful it was and so I was way more nervous. It was a peace of cake!  They numbing set in and I started to get a shooting pain in my back so I wanted to call in the nurse to tell her but I couldn't reach the call button.  So I turned to Stef "Hey I am having a horrible pain in my back can you push the button?" Meaning the call button for the nurse and he pushed the epidural button instead! Haha oops. We laughed and it was all good.  I stayed at a 4-5 for hours.  We just sat around and hung out, talked, laughed, took a nap, seriously epidurals are the greatest! I did not feel like I was in labor. Honestly we got really bored just sitting around waiting! In the middle of the day Stef said "I pictured this day going a lot differently, like with a lot more screaming" haha! Around 4 I was finally at a 6 and 100% effaced... Finally some more progress! About 30 minutes after they checked me I was feeling A LOT of pressure... They told me to tell them if I was feeling pressure because that could mean the baby was getting close! I felt dumb calling my nurse back in to check me again because it had only been like 30 minutes but I finally did and she checked me and I was at a 10! Woo! Best news ever.  We texted our families telling them she would be here pretty soon! Dr. Macy came in and she checked me again and said that she could see her head and it had lots of hair! I didn't believe her.  My contractions were still pushing the baby down so she wanted me to sit there for a little longer so she could move down farther and I wouldn't have to push as long.  As we were waiting I started feeling my contractions really strong on my left side! My whole left side was starting to get the feeling back and I started to panic a little! Why did my epidural stop working as good right when I was at the worst?? But luckily I pushed the button again and the pain went away! As we were waiting my parents came in! They came after we said she would be there soon and they came and said hello and then went into the waiting room. My nurse came in and wanted to go over how I needed to push, what position she wanted me in, where she wanted Stefan and what he should do etc.  Then she wanted me to do some "practice pushing" so that I could get the feel for it. I did a practice push and she instantly started saying "Stop stop stop!! Her head is coming out!!" and Stefan looks at me and said "AH! Her head looks like a hairy golf ball!" Haha just what every mom wants to hear haha. So we stopped my pushing and waited for my doctor.  She came in and it all began.  It was an amazing experience! Not at all what I expected.  We were all just laughing, talking, high fiving through the whole thing.  Stefan was amazing! I couldn't have done it without him!! He was amazing.  After about 20 minutes of pushing, Oakley Mae Brown joined us at 5:22pm with a full head of hair! My doctor had asked me before hand if it was okay if she held her down on her lap for 90 seconds after she was born so that the cord blood could run into her because supposedly she would be smarter haha. I told her that was great and that she better get into Harvard;)! She held her down on her lap and I just stared at her.  I couldn't believe it! Stefan cut the cord and they put her slimy little perfect self up on my chest. It was amazing! After a little, they took her over and did the tests, weighed her, measured her, and wrapped her up while they stitched me up and put the room back together.  They handed her to Stefan, it was amazing to watch him hold her for the first time.  They left us alone for awhile and Stef, Oakley and I just sat there as our own little family.  It was amazing. It felt like I was in a dream! I couldn't believe that she really was all ours. After awhile my parents came into the room it was fun to have them there so soon after she was born! Awhile later my sister Amy and her family came, then Stefans sister Paige and husband Morgan came- and brought Chick-fil-a since I was starving, and then his parents and other sister Kelly came as well. Then they got me all cleaned up and Stefan went to give Oakley a bath in the nursery! It was so adorable to watch.


The whole day was completely amazing.  I would deliver babies all day long if I could. I absolutely loved the whole experience! The veil is so thin, she was fresh from heaven! What an amazing experience.  I couldn't have done it without Stefan.  He is absolutely amazing.  The next few days we spent at the hospital with plenty of visitors. We are so blessed to have so many amazing friends and family around us! We have enjoyed our little perfect Oakley and love being parents. More blog posts coming about being home etc. :)

So here are the pictures!

Stefan holding Oakley for the first time

This was right after she was born... so I am not in my prime haha!

Nice and slimy

Our cute nurse made Oakley's bow hat!

Stefan loves his little girl. 

Stefan giving Oakley her first bath

We loved our hospital visitors. I wish I would of taken pictures of everyone who came! We are so blessed to have so many friends and family. 

Stef and I cuddling in the hospital bed that was a little too small for us.  I am so blessed to have this amazing man in my life!