Motherhood: What I've Learned!

I feel like the past 5 months I have learned SO much. I've been thinking about writing down some of the things I've learned since becoming a mom. I thought about calling this post "Tips for becoming a mom" but who am I kidding? I still don't know anything I can't give tips! And I thought about calling it "things I wish I could tell my pregnant self" but then I think, who am I kidding, I wouldn't have listened anyway! So here are things that I have learned... Mostly the hard way!
1. Having a baby is a type of tired I never understood. I apologize to every woman who was a mom before me, if I ever said "I am tired" to you... WHY DIDN'T YOU PUNCH ME IN THE FACE? It's a tired that I didn't know existed. But somehow you are still able to carry on your day! Even though it consists of me more times than I would like to admit... putting milk in the pantry and cereal in the fridge... thinking my blow dryer was broken and it wasn't plugged in... and far more things that should never be repeated.
2. In the worlds of Justin Bieber... Never say never. When I was pregnant, and before then, I thought I had it all figured out... I would always say "I will never be the type of mom that does (fill in the blank)" I have done so many of these things that I said I would never do...
3. Recovery ain't pretty... Your body goes through some intense stuff when you birth a child! There is SO many things that people don't tell you... Just find a good friend you're comfortable with because you will probably call them a million times asking what the heck is happening to your body.
4. When Oakley's umbilical cord fell off... there was a little blood... and a lot of crying. Oh, Oakley was perfectly fine. I was the balling mother thinking I had injured my baby. Since you're so tired, your hormones are out of whack, those first few weeks I cried about a lot. Or when Stefan went to McDonalds and got breakfast and didn't bring me home some... there was a few tears shed. Dear husbands, IT'LL PASS. Your wife isn't crazy. She will be normal again!
5. This is something I saw even when I was pregnant. The thing that is the best for you could be the worst for someone else. Everyone and their dog will tell you their opinion. And every single person has a different one. You just need to figure out the type of mom you are, the things you think is best for your baby, and not think too much about everyone else's opinion.  This is probably been the hardest thing for me... STOP CARING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS. And realize that they are trying to help... even though you feel like you're being attacked as a parent on every thing you do. Just take a breath, and know that you're doing what you think is the very best.
6. I learned that I have to do something for myself. Or I would go crazy. For me, I choose to get ready every day. It is something that I do that makes me feel better about myself and I am doing it 100% for myself. All day long I am taking care of a baby and everyone else and I feel like it is easy to lose yourself! So I think it's so important to find something that you can do for yourself everyday. Even if it is just as simple as getting ready.
7. Make friends, or have a friend you can talk to. Motherhood really can get lonely! You are constantly with a baby, so I never would have thought I would feel lonely. But it is good to have some adult interaction throughout the day. Obviously my husband is home at night! But I feel like the days get long if you don't have people to talk to.
8. Stay off of WebMD. or really google in general... Babies do a lot of weird things that people don't think to tell you. So you will find yourself up at night looking this stuff up and it will make you think that your baby has some horrible disease.
9. I learned to love my husband in a whole new way. There is nothing like watching a man become a dad.  I feel like my love for Stefan and our relationship in general grew in ways I can't describe. It has been so amazing! He has been SO helpful. I really couldn't have done this without him!!
10. You are the first and the last. I am the last to bed, last to eat, last to shower, last to everything. But I am also the first person that is up with the baby, the first person people hand the baby to when she cries, the first to clean up the mess, the first person to take care of her. (of course my husband helps too)
11. I have a whole new respect for my mom. Thank you mom, for always taking care of me, loving me, and doing everything. Even when I know you must have been exhausted and worn out, you never showed that! I love you.
12. IT IS ALL WORTH IT.  The love that comes when you are a mother is indescribable. I really do love every second of it! I can't even explain how grateful I am that I have been blessed with this little baby. I love it!! To mothers to be who are reading this, I hope I didn't scare you away. IT IS AMAZING. I really love it so much.

Disclaimer** these are the things that I have learned. Motherhood is obviously different for every person! I don't want this to come off like I am preaching to anyone about anything. Just sharing my feelings:)

Bump Date Week 17

My first official bump date post! I started my 18th week today, but here is a little about week 17. I couldn't do a bump date sooner because I didn't have really a bump yet! It's popped up the past few weeks! 

How far along: 17 weeks in these pictures!
Baby size: Sweet potato- Approximately 5 1/2 inches long!
Baby is: Developing yawning and hiccuping skills this week
Weight gain: 5 pounds so far!!
Maternity Clothes? Not really. I got a few maternity shirts that I have worn just because they are cute! I am in a super awkward stage. My normal clothes are getting slightly tight but my maternity pants I bought are still huge. Luckily my belly is sitting a little higher so I can low ride all my pants a little and still wear them! And let's be honest here, I wear leggings everyday of my life anyways so its not really a change. :) I am definitely running out of church clothes though! Pencil skirts and belly don't work so well.
Belly button: Okay, this was a fear for me. I hate prego belly buttons, but mine is totally getting super shallow and is probably going to pop out soon!! Ah!
Sleep: Not great, poor stef, I take up the entire bed and I am always tossing and turning. He isn't getting much sleep either because of it. He always gets up, makes me food during the night and brings me water if I need it. He's such a cutie. Oh and I can't sleep on my belly anymore, which is annoying because I cannot get comfortable unless I am taking up 90% of the bed.
Moments of the week: For the first time, someone asked me if I was pregnant! I am in the super awkward fat stage where its not really a belly, more just looks like I am bloated and rockin' some more pounds. But a customer at work actually asked me! Haha so luckily the answer was yes.  But when they asked when I was due I said "what?" and pretended like I wasn't pregnant... His face went white and I busted out laughing. Also, people keep touching my belly who know that I am pregnant. Which doesn't bother me. But I feel like they are just touching my muffin top. So I am excited for it to be a little bigger and not so chubby looking.
Pregnancy Symptoms: Migraines! Slowly getting better. Also, I can actually brush my teeth without dry heaving after for ten minutes which is usually what happens.
Cravings: Tonight, I made Stef run to the gas station for some Trolli candy eggs... they were sold out... so I settled for some gummy bears!
Movement: I felt the baby move for the first time this week!! Direct quote from my mouth "STEF! I think I just felt the baby move!!! Or maybe that was gas..." Haha but when I am laying down and not moving I will occasionally feel baby move which is exciting!!
Things that make me sick: Smells. Seriously why does everything have to smell gross.  I can't even open my pantry without holding my breath. And seriously either my dog has been eating something nasty or I just notice that she farts way more... Because it makes me so sick!!
Gender: So I wasn't going to post this, because it isn't 100% but I am going to post it anyways.  A few weeks ago I was getting impatient so we went to fetal fotos!! They couldn't get a great shot, so that is why I haven't told many people yet. But they think it is a girl!! We find out for sure on Dec. 29th.  I was convinced we were having a boy, so I was a little shocked! But very excited either way!:)
Looking forward to: I really want Stefan to be able to feel the baby kick. So I am definitely looking forward to that!!
Stefan: Is adjusting to the thought of having a baby! He is starting to get really excited.  My favorite thing is when he talks to my belly. I think it is adorable. He is such an awesome man, I cannot say that enough!! Love you Stef.

So far, so good! Pregnancy is great. I mean, I have my days. But I am looking forward to this next chapter in our lives. Check out the post before for first trimester and more!

New addition coming May!- First trimester recap!

It's true, coming May 2015 Stefan and I will be parents.  That is so crazy to think! I would of never thought that I would be where I am right now in my life at only the age of 20. I am just a little baby! Now preparing for a baby of my own. Today I hit my 18 week mark which seems crazy to me! We are so excited!

So I will start at the beginning, well not the very beginning, I think we can skip that part. ;) Back in September I started having really really bad cramps. Like so bad, I couldn't sleep or really move much and they came on really sudden.  The last thought I had was that I could possibly be pregnant.  But Stefan was starting to get a little worried and told me I needed to ask my mom what I should do.  When in doubt, always ask Bonnie! My mom was in California at the time, so I called her and told her about my pain and how sick it was making me.  Because of other health problems that I will write about another day, I was used to having abdominal pain the majority of the time, but this was different. My mom told me that something similar happened to her when she was pregnant and told me to take a pregnancy test.  It was Sunday morning and we were getting ready to go to church. Stefan and I were freaking out a little bit to think that I could possibly be pregnant. We ran to the store and went straight to church, without taking the test.  I couldn't focus at all the entire day at church! I was freaking out on the inside.  Right when we got home I took one of the tests.  Stefan came into the bathroom and the test was sitting on the counter, I was too scared to look at it and I hadn't waited the waiting time yet. Stef looked down and his face goes white. "Oh my gosh" and I was like "Stef, it has to have a plus sign to be positive" and his response was "THAT IS A FREAKING POSITIVE!" My heart dropped! Of course I am the most baby person in the world, I was overjoyed, but in that moment I was literally in shock. A few hours later I took another test, just to be sure.  Then immediately called my mom, because she already knew I was taking one.  The conversation started as "Mom, don't be mad." Haha now I think back on that I think it's so funny that is how I started it.  I mean, it's not like I was doing anything wrong! Up to this time I had joked that Stefan, my mom and my doctor had an 'anti Jessi having a baby right now' club. Because of my health it isn't necessarily an ideal time, but obviously Heavenly Father has a different plan in mind.  Back to that Sunday, I am WAY too impatient to even find out if I was for sure pregnant. I already told my mom, so of course being the impatient person I am, we called all our family.

The next day I went to the doctor, and they told me I definitely was pregnant! They got me in quickly to get an ultrasound because of the severe pain I was having, they didn't find anything wrong. They told me they didn't know what exactly was causing the pain and to just take things easy.  They did a few more ultrasounds over the next few weeks and a week or so later, I had taken things easy, gotten many priesthood blessings from my amazing husband and dad and my pain got much better, I could sleep through the night again.  I still have been having some pain, but I have had quite a few more ultrasounds and they still don't know what exactly is causing my pain, but it has gotten a lot better.

Now, I told you every detail of the first few weeks, here is a little first trimester recap.
Pregnancy Symptoms: overall I have felt pretty good.  I am used to being sick so not much has changed that much.  I DEFINITELY had been way more tired and more nauseous but luckily didn't throw up too much.  If I was throwing up, it was constantly all day, not just in the morning. Or I was fine all day! So that was weird. Pain was definitely the worst part, but has been getting better. Also, I am basically Satan. Poor Stefan, I swear I am not even making sense, I am so grumpy and all of a sudden will start sobbing. Stefan told me the other day I should probably not try to make friends while I am pregnant because I don't really like people. So, I apologize if I haven't been nice to you. I really am trying.
I am loving essential oils right now. They are the only thing that help me! For nausea, I have been using my new favorite oil Cardamom, it has been helping a ton! Also, I have been taking the peppermint beadlets when I start to feel nauseous and it help so much. For my hormonal mood swings I am relying on Serenity, geranium and lavender, I just put them on my forearms and neck so I am smell them. Also, I have had non-stop stuffy noses and so I have been putting Breathe on the ridge of my nose and chest. All have been life savers!! All my oils can be found here.  Especially cause you can't take a ton of things while you are pregnant! I swear by them, even if it is just in my head:)
Cravings: the first few weeks, and even before I knew I was pregnant, all I wanted was guacamole! Three meals a day.  I have also wanted sausage mcmuffins from McDonalds basically every morning, and I wish they served them all day! I will have random cravings and we try to always go and get them. Also, I go through about one and a half gallons of milk a week, just by myself. I can't have lactose so I drink lactose free milk, so it is kind of an expensive craving:/ My baby has been taking all my nutrients away so I have been trying to eat as much as possible, which is hard when you don't feel good! So we are focusing now on trying to eat more protein especially, but foods to keep both me and the baby nice and healthy! I always get hungry at like 9:30 every night which is super weird! But that is the only time of day I ever really am hungry, I am usually having to force feed myself.
Stefan: I am convinced I have married the best man around.  He already has to take care of me so much, but he has really been my rock through this whole thing! He is constantly running errands to get the food I want, making me food at all the weird hours of they day, giving me probably 6 back massages a day, helping a ton with laundry and the house so I don't have to worry about it, really just being absolutely amazing. He has to deal with my crazy hormonal side, and he still has never said a negative or rude word to me about anything. I definitely lucked out with this one!! He was a little stressed when we first found out I am pregnant. But he is coming around to the idea and he is very excited. He will be the cutest dad.

Overall, things are going great! Second trimester everyone says gets easier, but it has just brought a whole new twist to things! I am trying to stay positive and not be a complainer, but it is hard when you are hormonal. But I definitely am getting less tired and not so nauseous! I have just had killer migraines which is no bueno. My mom has also been a lifesaver! She is always helping me out with things and bringing me things when I am not doing good. Also my cute sister Amy for all my constant pregnancy questions haha. I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life! Pregnancy really is great.  I really am loving it so I hope this post doesn't sound like I am complaining.  I am so excited for this next chapter in our lives and I look forward to every minute of it.

Grandkids Galore!

This summer was a great one! Because I didn't have school, I had a lot of spare time while Stefan was at work! So I spent many of my summer days with the cutest kids around! My sister Amy lives close so I get to see her kids a lot which is so fun.  My sister-in-law Carly was here with her two kids for the entire summer and Carrie was here with her three kids for a week. Needless to say we got lots of fun in while they were all here! Prepare for a photo dump!

Here was Cody, Macey and I riding the the Can-Am on the way home from the farm one night

One day we went to the Museum of Natural Curiosity and it was so much fun.

Miss Blake

Mackayla!

Lucy Jane!

Macey Grace!

Callie Goose!

Girls playing in the water!

Hurricane simulator!

Cute little Logan!

All the girls, and Logan;)

Tornado simulator!

We also did the Ogden Temple open house.  Here are the kiddos outside on the fountain!

Fun day at Cherry Hill swimming and doing the bumper boats!

It was Stefan's nephew Aiden's birthday! They had an amazing party for him!!  

Dunk tank and all!

Fun day at the Davis county fair petting zoo!

Stefan's sister Blair and her family got sealed a few Saturdays ago.  What an amazing thing to witness! I love them and their two cute little boys!

12 Things in 12 Months

This past week Stefan and I celebrated our one year anniversary. I married young, and I had A LOT to learn when I got married.  I still am learning everyday, but I have decided to write this post for anyone going to get married.  It is 12 things I have learned in the first 12 months I have been married. I have learned a lot more than these 12 things but here are a few big ones!

1. One of the first things I learned was that birth control makes you a crazy person.  It's okay, it happens to the best of us… Sometimes you cry and you don't know why! (husbands- it is okay, they do love you and they aren't completely crazy, it's a normal reaction, sometimes just let us cry and have our moment and we will feel better.)
2. Some of the best advice that I got when we got married and something my parents were always examples to me about is never talking bad about your spouse to ANYONE, not even your mom. When you talk negative or complain to anyone about your husband it makes you think negatively.  Sometimes, other people egg you on even more.  Stefan and I have made it a point to always just talk to each other if we are having any problems with the other person. It always brings us closer together and helps us grow as one.
3. Food goes bad REALLY easy. Every time I turn around my leftovers are moldy, milk is sour, apples are squishy and my potatoes have grown limbs on them! Bomans Grocery Store should give me a frequent shopper discount because I feel like I have to go everyday!
4. Sometimes it is okay to have cereal for dinner.  You can't be a perfect wife, as much as you think you can.  Somedays life gets crazy and you don't make dinner… you're not a bad wife it happens to everyone! Your friends might post their amazing dinners that they made on instagram… but remember that people only post the good things they do!
5. Marriage isn't for you. It is not about you. Marriage is about the person you married. I read this article awhile back and I couldn't have put it better myself. Marriage is all about being selfless, about serving and being there for your spouse. In the article it says "No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It's about the person you love--their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, "What's in it for me?" while Love asks, "What can I give?"  You can read the article here > Marriage isn't for you
6. Realize what it worth fighting about.  You may WILL disagree on things. You were raised differently and you will see things differently. But take into consideration what is worth causing a fight about. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.  I grew up in a home where I never once saw my parents fight, they both just talked things through and didn't ever make a fuss about things that don't matter. Is it always easy? No. But it will be worth it! Sometimes I just have to keep my mouth shut and a little while later I will completely forget about it or realize it wasn't worth fighting about.
7. Keep Heavenly Father in your relationship.
8. Pray together and Pray for your spouse.  This is some of the best advice we got from our singles ward bishop. Every time you pray together, thank Heavenly Father for something about your husband that day, big or small, something that you noticed. It is good to hear the things our spouse is grateful for us for doing as well as for us to take a moment and notice what they are doing.
9. You will be tempted to buy a dog now that you are a family…. Don't do it! Especially if you live in an apartment! Haha don't get me wrong, I love my dog! But puppies hold you back and you can't always do as much when you have them.  Now that our dog has gotten a little older it is a lot easier, but when she was a puppy it was a pain in the butt! I love her now… but for awhile there I wish I waited longer to get her.
9b. Marriage makes you baby hungry.  I don't know what it is, but the second I got married I was ready to be a mom. Although I am far from ready, every baby we see Stefan has to deal with my puppy dog eyes asking if we can have one. Then it goes back to my #9 (which is why this is an extension of #9) if I thought a puppy was hard… I shouldn't even think about a baby!!
10. You become your own family.  All your decisions now are between you and your spouse. Not you and your parents. This one was a hard thing for me because I am so close to my parents and I want their opinion on everything.  But when it boils down to it, Stefan and I have to make our decisions between us, not based on anyone else.
11. Money, money, money. Something that I think every couple deals with.  I didn't have the best concept of money when I got married… so this was definitely a lifestyle changer for me. I am still learning to budget and save…. but sharing our bank account has helped us a lot because it is our money not just his or mine. Which helps me think more before I buy!
12. You will never be perfect! It is impossible to be the perfect wife, although I still beat myself up about it sometimes.  I have had to come to the conclusion that I can't do it all. If somedays the house is a disaster and we have to eat fast food, it isn't going to kill us. Sometimes bad days just happen. Don't compare yourself to the people around you, because what you see on the outside isn't the whole story. Be happy in where you are and what you are learning from it.

Marriage really has been the best thing in the world for me.  We have so much fun together and I am so happy that I found Stefan when I did. We had an amazing year and I know we will have many more to come. I know we will have many trials ahead of us but I am grateful I don't have to face them alone.  One year down, eternity to go!

Life Lately

I have been a little MIA here on the blog… So here is a little catch up!  A few months ago I got put into Young Women's in my ward.  I have loved it! In June, I had the chance to go to girls camp and it was awesome!! We went down to Fairview, by Manti, for our girls camp. The young women's president's parents live down there with tons of property that we stayed on.  It was awesome. Because we were so close to Manti, we were able to do baptisms at the temple and attend the Manti Pageant and do service at the temple.

Another day we went to Pallasades lake and swam and kayaked and then all had a chalk fight! Here are the leaders.

I am so grateful for my calling and for the wonderful girls I serve with. Our theme was "Get it, got it, good." "IT" being our individual testimony.  

A few weeks later was the fourth of July! 

(for some reason I didn't take any pictures… so all fourth of July pictures I stole from Carly's blog)

Stefan spent the morning fishing with his dad, and I went to the Kaysville parade with my mom, Carly and these four cute little girls!

We did dinner at Oakridge with Stef's fam… sorry no pictures… and then did fireworks with my family!

A few weeks later, Stefan and I went to one of my very favorite places! My aunt Cheryls cabin! It is a REAL cabin, no electricity, no cell service, just you and nature. It is beautiful up there and so much fun. Sadly, my family was going the week after and Stef and I weren't going to be able to go so my cute aunt let us come early just by ourselves. I missed my family, but still so happy we could go.  They do have quite a few added amenities, Cheryl cooks everything on a wood burning stove and there are propane lights and flushing toilets…What else do you really need??

We did some fishing

My uncle Stan and Stef gutting fish.. yuck

The Cabin

We have had an awesome summer so far! Lots to catch up about, but here were just a few things! I've been hanging with the family a lot while Stefan's working, young women's, spending time at cherry hill, going to drive ins, rodeos, all sorts of swimming, golfing and walking our cute dog! I love my little family!

Walking around the ponds at ponds park